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Hi, I'm Andrea! Our little family of four lives in South Florida and leads worship. We are here to share the love of Christ and live life together. We're learning a lot here and enjoy looking for opportunities to grow. Thanks for listening and coming alongside us!

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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

How do You Decide Your Family Size?


QUESTION:: How many kids do you want to have?

First Response
What an interesting question to explore! Whenever I have been asked this question, my answer has been something like:: "I grew up in a family of 3, so I'd like 3 or 4 -- and Josh (my husband) grew up in a family of 2, so he'd like 2 or 3. We'll probably have 3!" Now I usually add, "We'll take it one at a time."

Best Response
BUT, there is something that needs to be said that I rarely voice, out of shyness or sounding too cliche -- It is up to God! Proverbs 16:9 says, "The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps" (ESV) 
I never want our children to think, "My parents wanted more kids...until they had me" or "My parents were totally done having kids, and I was an accident!" So many times we think that we have control over the situation, but that is not the case! --I have learned that lesson more and more as the Lord has directed the timing of our marriage and our children! 
Child Spacing
The Lord did grant us some time between our first two, which I believe was very beneficial for us! I always knew I wanted more than one child -- as my dad always said, "The best thing for number 1 is having number 2!" I am pregnant now (17 weeks!) and my son turned 2 a couple of months ago. They will be over 2 1/2 years apart, and I think that is perfect for our family. My husband was finishing up his Worship Arts degree this past year while we both worked part-time to make ends meet and switch off caring for our son. Although I had baby fever at times, I knew that it was best to not intentionally try to bring a new baby into our lives during that hectic time-- and the Lord gave us space to have that choice. 

Influences
Obviously your upbringing, finances, and biological makeup has a lot of influence in your side of the family size decision. I grew up around larger families. Our family of 3 kids was best friends with families of 7 and 9 kids. And YES for those of you who know we're from NW Arkansas, I did grow up around the eldest Duggars (they attended our church and AWANA) and always thought there family was so much fun with all of their siblings! I have known gorgeous families that have so much variety -- a beautiful mix of biological, adopted, and disabled children that create a dynamic picture of God's family and really inspire me. In regards to finances, I have seen God ALWAYS provides for us through His people -- we were so nervous about finances when we were first pregnant with my son -- but we were given more than we needed -- God provided a way! 
Parting Thoughts
Honestly, I don't know how many children we will end up having on our Mitchael Journey! I guess you'll have to stay tuned and find out how we "decide" to continue our family dynamic. I think there are a million factors in all of this, and I would love to hear from YOU!

I've shared my thoughts alongside other moms this week on Mama's Tell All
I'd love to hear your thoughts? aaand if you are a blogger, we'd love for you to join in the link-up fun!
Today's Prompt: Choosing the Size of Your Family. How did you decide how many children is right for your family and why? 

More from this series:
Our Toddler Food Tips
Marriage After Baby
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Linking up today:: That Southern Mama

11 comments :

  1. Great post! How interesting that you grew up around the Duggars! Are they as sweet in real life as they seem? Thanks for linking up to Mamas Tell All!

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  2. Thanks so much :D Oh goodness yes, they really are! I remember going to their house (before they built the one they live in now) and thinking that it was like being at camp! Michelle (Mrs. Duggar) has the sweetest voice -- I could recognize it anywhere! Last year I was singing for a closing ceremony for a Bible Bee that she was attending for one of her sons, and we got to catch up a bit over lunch! The closing ceremonies were delayed and my babysitter had to leave before they were quite over. She left my son with Michelle on the back row for the last couple of songs and prayers. When my son got a bit restless she leaned over and started talking to him in her kind voice and he just locked eyes with her and was put at ease :) Such a special memory!

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  3. Ahhhh!!! I had no idea you grew up with some of the Duggars!! I mentioned them in my post, I LOVE their family. Think they are so sweet and I'm totally jealous of all those kids haha! I agree, it is up to the Lord!

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  4. Thanks for linking up! <3 No child is a mistake, all are blessings from God. It is sad to think that some kids out there feel or are told they are accidents or mistakes! "/ I love the Duggars!

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  5. YES! I love how much they trust the Lord Jesus -- very encouraging :) I'm headed over to your post now!

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  6. I nominated you, but couldn't figure out how to vote! Love the new template!

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  7. THANKS :D The click on the button is the vote! They keep track of my click-throughs! So glad you like it!!

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  8. Your response about you wanting 3-4 because you come from a family of 3 and your husband wanting 2 because he came from a family of 2 is almost verbatim to my response! Even with the numbers (I came from 3 and want 4, he came from 2 and wants 2). It's so funny because we've agreed on a "number", but are 100% aware that our "plan" is likely not going to happen- and we're okay with that! When people ask we usually tell them our "plan", and then say "but we know that that's probably not going to happen." People laugh and usually take it as a joke, but we know it's not a joke and we're excited (and maybe a little scared) to see what does happen. Congratulations on baby #2!

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  9. Haha :D I love how life works like that! It is pretty amazing how much your family size will impact your life, marriage and the children, of course -- we will see what happens, right?! Thanks so much for stopping by! I'm looking forward to sharing more about my pregnancy journey :) I'm your newest FB follower!

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  10. Yay thanks girl! FB is definitely my most underdeveloped social media platform but I'm working on it. Also, I love following pregnancy stories so I'm excited! And although that sounds creepy I promise it's not 😊 I just like hearing about all the stories and experiences!

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  11. Good for you in knowing that God will provide, however many there are! We've jokingly said we want three with an accidental fourth. We have two now (22 months apart) and I DEFINITELY will be doing a bigger gap next time, God willing. Glad to have found you through the Blogger's Digest link up!
    Erin
    http://www.itallmattersmom.com

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